Photo by Gary Dineen/NBAE via Getty Images
A short, semi-fictional play about Orlando forward, Tobias Harris, who’s out indefinitely with an ankle injury.
- Bus driver
- Tobias Harris
A country road halfway between Jacksonville and Orlando abutting a bus stop late at night. Rony is lying on a concrete bench nursing a hangover. Stan is looking him over morosely.
Stan: (Shakes him.) Wake up. I need to rest my legs.
Rony: Wha—Who are you?
Rony: Any relation to Stan Van G—
Stan: Who? No. Can you please move over so I can sit down? The bus isn’t coming until 2 p.m. and I’ve been on my feet all day. (This was a lie.)
Rony: Right, sure. I’ve had a lot to drink, so please no more shaking.
(Stan sits down, and within five minutes, Rony is fast asleep on Stan’s shoulder. He tries to wiggle him off, but only succeeds in waking Rony up.)
Rony: What the hell is your problem, mister? I’m just trying to get some shut-eye.
Stan: I’ve got to pick up a very important person for work soon, and I can’t have your drool on my shirt. (He points to a splotch of dark brown on his collar.)
Rony: Oh sorry, I can’t breathe through my nose, so I drool a lot. Not as much as some of the Magic cheerleaders make me, though. (Laughs.) Know what I mean?
Stan: I do, but it’s uncouth.
Rony: What’s uncouth?
Rony: Do you like the Magic? (Glances at Stan’s clothes.) The Magic are a basketball team in Orlando.
Stan: I know. I work for them.
Rony: Oh WOW. Nice to meet you. (Grabs Stan’s hand and and shakes it aggressively.)
Stan: (Pointedly wipes hand on shirt sleeve.)
Rony: What do you do? (Assesses his outfit.) I’ll bet you’re in the marketing department, or you look after the books?
Stan: (Stan was an accountant, but he didn’t like the implication, so he lied.) No, I arrange travel for players and do the leg work when they need to be picked up or transported somewhere for a team event near Orlando.
Rony: So you’re a lackey?
Stan: No. (More angry.) It’s an important position. (… one where I am compensated handsomely and which affords me a certain amount of respect within the organization and from the public at large, he didn’t add, but wanted to.)
Rony: Awesome man. (Attempts to slap five with Stan and is met with a blank stare.) Do you know Tobias Harris? Where has he been?